Where Have I Been?

It’s ever so lovely to have my fingers dancing across the keyboard, feeling the breadth and width and openness of expression. Such a quiet, grounded feeling to be here again…finding the words for life’s experiences.

I could not believe the last post was April, and now it is December. I find that life is constantly riding the waves of time and timelessness, in breathing and out breathing, unfolding the growing tip, and somehow only now I feel the season and moment to sit and reflect.

This year when we spend our time in Mexico, I would like to finish some book projects I’ve started and left unfinished. I would like to make booklets of all my blogs: jill rosemary, venus sophia tearoom, world hearth, all the incarnations of living wisdom.

We will also take up an on-line course about growing a cut flower garden. It’s exciting. We will research how to make a homemade distiller so we can experiment with eucalyptus, lavender and rosemary essential oils. And, of course, now that the greenhouse has been set up, I want to cultivate roses.

Even though we head off to the warmth and sunshine, in our souls, we still take the winter walk of inwardness. We write, walk, bike, meditate, swim every morning in the ocean, read, dance and visit friends. It’s a time of renewal for us. I have so much gratitude.

Yesterday, was a day that “changed my life.” And I pondered how, and what that meant. I realized that to change is to see, be or do things with new eyes of awareness. Change means to awaken to a new perspective or discover something unknown–to arrive at a new place in the present moment. I saw an afternoon workshop on “Trauma.” I saw four women holding hands on the poster, smiling, inviting professionals, social workers and all people to attend: Understanding the Impacts of Trauma and Caring for Ourselves. There was also something mentioned about the Vagus Nerve. It was the smiles on the face, the word in the title impacts and the term Vagus Nerve that compelled me to sign up. I had no idea where the venue was, who was going to be there and what it would be like.

I was called to continue my studies on the impact of trauma, with others, ever so curious about the Vagus Nerve. As I sat waiting for the speakers to begin, I decided to centre myself by thinking about why I thought I was there, so I began writing:

“We live in a world of trauma and it can open unexpectedly and unknowingly at any moment in one’s life–as a child, a young person, a son or daughter, partners, family and friends.

I’ve lived with and through trauma, post trauma and am curious now about the on-going seen and unseen impacts it has on all the layers of our lives.”

I have an undying thirst for learning to understand more about trauma for myself and others. Over the years of deep pain, I’ve developed a working toolbox, but what fascinates me is the shifts that take place in a moment of change that bring about a swift, often silent, perception of awareness… turning that moment of what was, into a new moment, that will never be the same.

My compassion runs deep for the wreckage of suffering. My love grows. My human interest ignites. My soul opens to the art of accompaniment. And my mind engages…..it’s right there that I became acutely aware that I want to write out a course, or maybe a recipe box, or just a picture story, about human trauma, the ingredients, the interactions, the challenges, and in the end combination, bake a cake of hope and healing.

Instead of everything being a problem, turning it into a daily life creation of, not just surviving, but bringing various new combinations together that will allow for rising, for blossoming, for opening seeds, for observing, noticing and recognizing the larger awareness: that we all live in a world of trauma from the moment we were born.

How can we see things as they are, not good or bad, just notice?

How can we learn to understand trauma, the signs, the symptoms from early on?

How can we implant ways of being kind & aware with skills

that turn the raw into living life just as it is?

How can we continue to create a life out of what we’ve been given, together?

What is trauma to me? Trauma is the moment when life is more than we can handle. It is when our human organization, our human being-ness, from the inside out, can no longer cope or function. It is when our being, inside and out, feels overwhelmed, out of control, and unable to process the wave of physical, emotional and larger picture realities.

Dictionary definitions are:

1.Trauma is the response to a deeply distressing or disturbing event that overwhelms an individual’s ability to cope, causes feelings of helplessness, diminishes their sense of self and their ability to feel the full range of emotions and experiences. It does not discriminate and it is pervasive throughout the world.

2. Psychological trauma is damage to the mind that occurs as a result of a distressing event. Trauma is often the result of an overwhelming amount of stress that exceeds one’s ability to cope, or integrate the emotions involved with that experience.

3. In general, trauma can be defined as a psychological, emotional response to an event or an experience that is deeply distressing or disturbing. … Everyone processes a traumatic event differently because we all face them through the lens of prior experiences in our lives.


In this journey of my life, I continue to create a life each and every day, despite, regardless, but most of all because I want to create and tend a living life.

I’m committed to holding open the space where love, light, beauty, peace and living wisdom can imbue us, inspire us, lift us, and fill us with new energy, new imaginations, new understandings, and healing.

I’ve also been awoken to the reality of on-going impacts from on-going every day trauma from babies on through; and I’m ready to bake, paint, dance, create, and share a cup of tea…..together.

with all my love…..Jillian RoseMary LaBelle Sophie xo



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