On May 22, 2008, I wrote my first post on a blog I created called: Jill RoseMary. jillrosemary.blogspot.com.
It came about after Kaspar’s accident, as a way to begin processing the “avalanche of change” that hit our family.
Kaspar made it clear that I was not to write about him or for him, so I had to go deep inside to sort out just where I was, what I was feeling and how to move forward from where we found ourselves. Writing was my compass.
I am in the process of editing that blog, as well as, one I started for our Venus Sophia Tea Room, and the many years of writing Living Wisdom. I hope to make small books of stories? reflections? poetry….
I feel the time has come to maybe finish, refine, rewrite, amalgamate or simply edit the books I’ve written so far, never finished nor published called: Radiating Love. Upholding Hope. Living Wisdom. A Mother’s Call to World Peace. Entering into the Realms of Infinite Possibilities.
Some days I wonder if those were the practices for writing two new books, I’ve been carrying around in my heart and mind for years now. Time will tell.
Despite all I don’t know, I am, once again, renewing my vow to writing. I already years ago, actually when I wrote my first poem at 19, committed my heart and soul to expressing itself through the flow, composition and opening of words that paint pictures. It is a place I am drawn to, a place that opens deep and wide inside of me. I am just compelled by a deep love of life to compose words that quicken and ignite moments of calm perception and a deep sense of beauty.
My life has always been guided by this mystery of life and the endless questions arising every step of the way. Questions that turned into real life quests. Quests which turned into ideals and striving. Striving which led into a life of meaning. A life that has been transformed by living it, loving it, embracing it, pondering & studying it…
And then there came a day, long, long ago, when I realized the question of humanity was no longer: what is the meaning of life? Instead, the new questions transformed into, what is life? how do we live it? how do we care for it in every living thing? That moment changed the questions into practices. It changed the quests into growing gardens, birthing children and raising a family. It turned the striving into creating a life in the present moment, each and every day, for ourselves and our communities. And that is where I live now, in each moment, fully and deeply, holding open the space, in my heart and soul, for infinite possibilities to live. In my mind, for blue sky awareness to expand and in my whole being, for love to radiate, for peace to prevail, for light to illuminate, for beauty to unfold and for living wisdom to embrace all of us.
As I turn to begin this new page of writing in my life, I sit quietly by this always present wellspring of love and I decide to slip into its waters of life, submerging and uniting myself into the interiors of the water itself, saying here I am, in the quintessential essence and substance of life just being willing to do what i do….become and embody words themselves through the kindness of each moment. The kindness that welcomes us as miraculous human beings to breathe together, to swim in the etheric oceans of existence together, to live together in peace, caring for and ever so deeply about life itself.
Love, Jillian Rosemary LaBelle Sophie
In closing, here are some poems i wrote, a long time ago, in a different tone.
The tree of life impulse, as i always called it, simply continues to course its way through my veins enlivening new moments, with new growth, new ways of being a tree of life with blossoming roses, and those roses filled with starry light…..a forever picture for me…..
On The Wings of Song
What have I to offer this world. . .
like Beethoven. . .
Symphonies of soul?
My hearing, too, lessening
to the cacophony of sound around me.
How can I offer my love to this world
thick with forgetfulness?
How can I touch upon the hearts of young and old,
amidst the sorrow and suffering
in the outer life of existence,
with the flame of love
and enthusiasm of soul and spirit
without form or instrument to sing through?
To sing through. . .
My voice gently longing to carry the word.
My pencil conducting.
The composition appearing and reappearing in full blossom
on the wings of breath
on the wings of song. . .
Safely opening the colour-filled windows of the soul
Through the hallowed halls of time
Revealing the radiance of creation.
The Bosom and Breath of Life
Shadows hold sway around humanity
clutching at the very bosom and breath of life,
ducking in and out of all cultural, social, economic,
political and religious circles,
weaving a web for those who succumb.
Yet the ever-living presence of Light penetrating
the gossamer’s pattern,
can melt away the mazes into meadows.
Meadows, where flowers bloom and thrive and open wide,
within this light-filled, living environment.
Radiating genuine love and true interest into all of life
between one another, between groups of people, between countries,
into the starry realms and onto the Earth,
awaiting ripened willingness to participate differently.
Wisdom’s warmth, embracing,
charts a new course, embedding a handwritten map,
through cycles of time and breadths of space,
discovering and opening new realms of daily living.
Dispersing myth,
dispelling shadows
while overcoming humanity’s dark instincts
of hatred.
The heart loosened from its ticking task
unfolding and flowering into its pure and pulsing wisdom,
bestows and renews hope
through the acute awareness and care of the other
and courage of the will.
The heart and soul as an interior place, castle, and sanctuary
whose ivory tower rises
to the larynx of love-imbued song and speech,
willingly offers the sacred endowments and arts of the hearth:
truth, beauty and goodness.
And the etheric human heart becomes the new organ of life,
whose melodic wellspring of the soul and spirit’s abounding love,
pulsates illuminated wisdom rhythmically via the waters of life
filling and feeding the inspired will
with abundant generosity, virtuousness, and purpose.
The Backbone of Humanity
Haloed above our heads shimmers a golden ring
Giving way to an opening down the back of the neck
Revealing the hidden passageway
Into the backbone of humanity.
Light pouring through
Filling the skeletal structure with tomorrow
Quietly working
To fulfill the quickening dream
of humanity’s evolving life over time.
The old and brittle backbone of humanity
Instilled with a new golden substance
Breaking down, yet enlivening
The very structure of uprightness.
Pushing upwards and outwards through epochs of time
Within the limited form of darkness one vertebra at a time
Into the world of light and living form
Moving the new human garment into freedom.
The light and love of the Sun present
In the very bones
And blood
Of our ever-ripening human forms, organs, and life.
The task is before us to choose to live wisely within love
Willing to accompany each other
While upholding hope within humanity
Despite the existence of the shadows, death and destruction.
When the dawn appears, so does the Earth
and our living human forms;
When the sun arises, brilliance reveals reality and potential;
When the seasons change, wisdom works in Nature
and in our human conscience;
When the human heart and soul awakens, love abounds
and all things are possible.