Kindness

I am loving my yoga practice.

It is a time for me

to go deeply inward

in new ways, for new times,

coming into and staying connected to my body,

releasing my thoughts and emotions,

and following the flow of my breath

discovering new places.

In my Monday Yin Yoga class, we are taking up the 9 Rasas

which are the nine essences of emotions…..

It is a thoughtful process.

While taking yin poses

that take you to that edge,

yet still continuing to breathe,

words are spoken about the rasas.

This week we allowed the words to flow through the spaces

within and around to be with sadness.

Well, it was interesting….

the beginning always speaks about letting go on all levels,

yet as I’ve been working consciously within this  place of sadness

inside of myself

and thoughtfully observing it in life itself,

I ‘ve come to experience that sadness is more than an emotion to let go of

and more than just the absence of.

It is a fundamental building block of our lives.

It is elemental in nature and transformative in essence.

As we were deepening and breathing and holding,

the place of compassion arose as a sister of this sophia,

this living wisdom,

as I like to call them.

And, once again,

I felt quiet in this place of presence

and honouring of the gift

of compassion.

For it is only when one goes through the rocky depths

of conscious perception and awareness  of life,

that the interest to share the complexities

and fragility of this delicate life can begin to take hold.

For when the turning inside out of all emotions occurs,

  it is not emptiness that is found,

but instead it is the fire and passion for life itself.

And it is in this moment

that one truly  knows beyond a shadow of a doubt

that we’re all in this together

and that love, warmth, companionship

and care for each other

and everything that is living

is our quest.

How we do it, is our freedom.

As I come to a time in my life

where individuals my age

are near or actively retiring,

I am not in that position.

I have traveled through the years of my life

walking through mists of darkness often,

carrying only the light of my thoughts,

the warmth and light of my heart and soul,

and the certainty that the interior of our beingness

was an essential part of human existence.

This has been and still is

my life work.

Payment has not come in the form of weekly cheques

or outer recognition,

instead I have had to yes, struggle at times,

and be at peace, at other times,

with knowing that my work in perceiving

and finding the words to describe

the perceptions of the inner life

and our multi-layered ways of being,

is fundamentally who I am.

And as suffering and sadness,

throughout my many years,

has been difficult,

it was also the path to going beyond the emotions,

into the depths of perception and transformation

finding the delicate words and phrases

that could somehow express the joys and transformations

of becoming fully awake and fully human.

I am well aware

that I might not have even made it to the tip of the iceberg of understanding

thereby being able to share those thoughts with others,

but what I do know with deep certainty

is that

what I have truly come to do

is love.

It is something,

as a twenty or so year old, I’d write poetry about,

I dedicated my life to,

and little did I know when it was still so sweet,

that that dedication to love,

would bring about such depths of tumultuous journeying,

forming my life’s work,

imprinting itself upon me.

And yet, it has been so.

As we continued to speak about sadness today in class,

we spoke about compassion

and unexpectedly,

I felt the place inside of me

that has exercised and fostered compassion,

over the years,

sigh with relief,

as the beautiful gestures and capacities

inside my embodiment felt acknowledged,

quietly and simply.

Last week, when we took up the rasa of courage,

I was breathing into the inner corridors of my existence

and felt the etheric muscles that had strengthened,

over time,

from a life striving to be full of courage,

willing to face life’s challenges,

with my heart and face forward

and my mind willing to sort things out,

so that life

could continue

to move forward gently.

When I left class last week,

I was overcome by the decision

to foster kindness in my day

and in my week.

I wanted to bring kindness

and be kind to everyone I met.

There was one older woman whose face

I will never forget.

She looked so sad when she was walking by

and I greeted her

and spoke a few words of kindness

and her face shone

in that moment.

And I felt such gladness that she felt happiness.

Today we spoke about sadness connected to loneliness

and I know deeply,

for it is one of my pearls wisdom,

that indeed there is no way

to take away someone else’s sadness and loneliness.

But what we can do

is be kind,

be loving

and be present,

and in that moment, in that precious space,

true interest

will allow the other to unfold a little,

or maybe even open up into a full bloom.

And when the moment comes when one walks through compassion,

what lies on the other side is kindness.

It is a place

where we can find kindness

for ourselves

 kindness for each other

and kindness for all that is living.

For in kindness,

the essence of life

can flow freely

and hearts can awaken

to the gentle presence of genuine interest.

And within this living interest,

one can truly rest for a moment of repose

knowing another has seen you

and wishes for you the very, very best

you can be,

by sharing little by little

who you are.

Sadness, compassion, kindness and interest…..

one of the lovely golden threads

and streams of thought

in this incredible flow of life.

Today, I could see myself.

It is not something that I can often do.

How do you see kindness or love?

Yet today, as I breathed into my embodiment on every level,

as I took interest in the rasa of sadness and it in me,

I saw myself

and felt my soul blossoming,

but this time not just inside,

this time,

I felt the beauty of it

as

me….

I shall never re-tire,

instead I dedicate my life

and my continuing journey

to re-newal

and all the gifts and grace

it has to bring.

A long time ago, I wrote about the mother of purity,

the maiden of inner beauty

and the queen of creative renewal

and amazing grace

as a path and gesture

of the awakening soul.

And today,

I stand quietly in front of those images

as I kneel and acknowledge

they in me

and

I in them.

Namaste.