Posted in Writing

Living Beauty

10609684_826705954028824_3695657014585140877_nI have not written for a very long time,

I have been journeying……

And in that flow of experience,

I have come to understand many different things,

some with my mind, some with my body,

some with my soul, and others through the movement itself.

I’m going to pick up three words and place them in the palms of my hands

and continue my dialogue of changing…..perspective…..

The three words are essence, substance and life.

These three small, infinite words, were the three gifts I received

after being thrown into the speed of light and then out again

many years ago.

It’s taken me seven long years to find my way

in the transformative chrysalis,

that began with a loss of breath, his and mine,

only to both find it again, in new ways

and new dimensional perceptions and studies.

To have risen out of the ashes, like a phoenix,

after everything I had known or built up was seared away

by the heat and light of that speed,

I can only call grace.

To continue the search for words and experiences to further express

and live within and out of this new altered every day life,

is my quest, and herein lies the beginning of my musings.

318811_514979711846666_2061616630_nThe world I had created, explored and lived in

was rich, multi-layered and complex,

well built and well seasoned.

For years, I was held by a sense

of such loss as it all changed,

in one, precious moment,

until I began realizing it was a new beginning….

and the sooner I learned how to breathe

while birthing in the new, the better.

In my inner worlds of self,

I began experiencing life, the essence of life and it’s substance,

artistically, emotionally, perceptively in new ways,

and I was both grateful and bereft, often,

not knowing what to do, how to begin a new life,

and how to sort out what I felt.

Until I stopped trying,

and then realized that there was no new life to begin,

because the presence of life in all its forms and changes,

in it’s essence and substance,

is always present, and I could stop searching

and just be….alive within it.

The wordless expression of essences of this life,

kept pushing up against

what it looked like as a substance,

swinging back and forth

until all I knew I could do

was carry these three words in my basket,

my heart, my womb of worlds and my human willingness,

as a seed, or a pilgrimage,

until the quaking and metamorphosis stopped shifting

in my being-ness

and I could look out again.

So when

that quaking of shattering sorrow,

grief, suffering, and quiet discernment,

came to rest, I found my breath again,

that breath that feeds and

gives life what it needs

to carry on, and grow,

in order to discover that within it,

there is always a new wave of possibility, which constantly moves

between the substance and the essence,

the ebb and the flow, the substance and essence,

the sun and the moon,

the yin and the yang, the inner life and the outer life.

Twining that cannot do, or be, or live without the other.

And in that realization,

of the continuous letting go of one or the other,

consciously and unconsciously,

through uncontrollable circumstances,

of everything I was, of everything I knew and loved,

of everything I held on to as my world,

I found the key to perceiving……..

  a new pulsing wisdom………

a living wisdom, a life force,

that knows how to sustain life,

fill life,

give life,

unfold life, and

it was flowing through me

in a new way.

Starting through a family, mother/son trauma

and being thrown into the speed of light,

I’ve come to know

was the invitation

and the awareness of a forceful pressing presence,

I called light.

Being willing to enter into these mysteries in a place called altered,

is where I’ve been, is where I am, in an up and down fashion,

going between,

searching.

And yet today, I realize the search is over.

60196_513770155300955_525607639_nThe search for my new life, how to do it,

where, and why,…..because

I’ve already arrived in the present moment,

between the essence and substance of myself through time,

within the inhale and exhale of my breath,

but now I see it,

I feel it, I’m in it,

in the flow of this life, in the energy of this life,

and in the continuous waves of possibilities

filled with something I’m calling living wisdom.

And in this place, there’s a resonance, a fragrance,

a beauty, a grace, a tangibility that ultimately

has no name,

only a presence and a quickening

that can be felt as the pulse within a seed,

that can be seen as the beauty around a rose

and fostered within a touch and a movement of the body.

It has no form or destination,

only the grace of sensing and renewing

refreshing, through accompaniment,

choice and holding open the prepared spaces and places

and environments, where it can live and breathe,

this living wisdom….through personal choice to care for it

and birth it through personal intentions.

What else can one do

but foster genuine interest

to experience,

to participate,

to work out of ,

this something so divine,

with reverence and awe,

it gives breath to life itself.

And so today I

have arrived

again

in the centre of my life

in the centre of my being

in the circle of communing,

with a willingness to tend,

and in-tend…….the infinite, the endless

and the wordless eternal,

the spark of life,

this presence of a

magnificent living wisdom,

that flows through all of us,

in devotion, consciousness,

awareness, compassion, love

peacefulness and grace.

12650_10152123927227702_1952689623_n

written by Jill LaBelle Sophie

1979468_10152216029707702_62647526_n

“This that we have now is not imagination

It is not joy or sadness

Not grief or elation

These things come and go

This is the presence that doesn’t”

Rumi

Author:

I’m Jill LaBelle Sophie quiet writer, designer from the inside out, birther of life & gardener of the living.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *