I am loving my yoga practice.
It is a time for me
to go deeply inward
in new ways, for new times,
coming into and staying connected to my body,
releasing my thoughts and emotions,
and following the flow of my breath
discovering new places.
In my Monday Yin Yoga class, we are taking up the 9 Rasas
which are the nine essences of emotions…..
It is a thoughtful process.
While taking yin poses
that take you to that edge,
yet still continuing to breathe,
words are spoken about the rasas.
This week we allowed the words to flow through the spaces
within and around to be with sadness.
Well, it was interesting….
the beginning always speaks about letting go on all levels,
yet as I’ve been working consciously within this place of sadness
inside of myself
and thoughtfully observing it in life itself,
I ‘ve come to experience that sadness is more than an emotion to let go of
and more than just the absence of.
It is a fundamental building block of our lives.
It is elemental in nature and transformative in essence.
As we were deepening and breathing and holding,
the place of compassion arose as a sister of this sophia,
this living wisdom,
as I like to call them.
And, once again,
I felt quiet in this place of presence
and honouring of the gift
For it is only when one goes through the rocky depths
of conscious perception and awareness of life,
that the interest to share the complexities
and fragility of this delicate life can begin to take hold.
For when the turning inside out of all emotions occurs,
it is not emptiness that is found,
but instead it is the fire and passion for life itself.
And it is in this moment
that one truly knows beyond a shadow of a doubt
that we’re all in this together
and that love, warmth, companionship
and care for each other
and everything that is living
is our quest.
How we do it, is our freedom.
As I come to a time in my life
where individuals my age
are near or actively retiring,
I am not in that position.
I have traveled through the years of my life
walking through mists of darkness often,
carrying only the light of my thoughts,
the warmth and light of my heart and soul,
and the certainty that the interior of our beingness
was an essential part of human existence.
This has been and still is
my life work.
Payment has not come in the form of weekly cheques
or outer recognition,
instead I have had to yes, struggle at times,
and be at peace, at other times,
with knowing that my work in perceiving
and finding the words to describe
the perceptions of the inner life
and our multi-layered ways of being,
is fundamentally who I am.
And as suffering and sadness,
throughout my many years,
has been difficult,
it was also the path to going beyond the emotions,
into the depths of perception and transformation
finding the delicate words and phrases
that could somehow express the joys and transformations
of becoming fully awake and fully human.
I am well aware
that I might not have even made it to the tip of the iceberg of understanding
thereby being able to share those thoughts with others,
but what I do know with deep certainty
what I have truly come to do
It is something,
as a twenty or so year old, I’d write poetry about,
I dedicated my life to,
and little did I know when it was still so sweet,
that that dedication to love,
would bring about such depths of tumultuous journeying,
forming my life’s work,
imprinting itself upon me.
And yet, it has been so.
As we continued to speak about sadness today in class,
we spoke about compassion
I felt the place inside of me
that has exercised and fostered compassion,
over the years,
sigh with relief,
as the beautiful gestures and capacities
inside my embodiment felt acknowledged,
quietly and simply.
Last week, when we took up the rasa of courage,
I was breathing into the inner corridors of my existence
and felt the etheric muscles that had strengthened,
from a life striving to be full of courage,
willing to face life’s challenges,
with my heart and face forward
and my mind willing to sort things out,
so that life
to move forward gently.
When I left class last week,
I was overcome by the decision
to foster kindness in my day
and in my week.
I wanted to bring kindness
and be kind to everyone I met.
There was one older woman whose face
I will never forget.
She looked so sad when she was walking by
and I greeted her
and spoke a few words of kindness
and her face shone
in that moment.
And I felt such gladness that she felt happiness.
Today we spoke about sadness connected to loneliness
and I know deeply,
for it is one of my pearls wisdom,
that indeed there is no way
to take away someone else’s sadness and loneliness.
But what we can do
is be kind,
and be present,
and in that moment, in that precious space,
will allow the other to unfold a little,
or maybe even open up into a full bloom.
And when the moment comes when one walks through compassion,
what lies on the other side is kindness.
It is a place
where we can find kindness
kindness for each other
and kindness for all that is living.
For in kindness,
the essence of life
can flow freely
and hearts can awaken
to the gentle presence of genuine interest.
And within this living interest,
one can truly rest for a moment of repose
knowing another has seen you
and wishes for you the very, very best
you can be,
by sharing little by little
who you are.
Sadness, compassion, kindness and interest…..
one of the lovely golden threads
and streams of thought
in this incredible flow of life.
Today, I could see myself.
It is not something that I can often do.
How do you see kindness or love?
Yet today, as I breathed into my embodiment on every level,
as I took interest in the rasa of sadness and it in me,
I saw myself
and felt my soul blossoming,
but this time not just inside,
I felt the beauty of it
I shall never re-tire,
instead I dedicate my life
and my continuing journey
and all the gifts and grace
it has to bring.
A long time ago, I wrote about the mother of purity,
the maiden of inner beauty
and the queen of creative renewal
and amazing grace
as a path and gesture
of the awakening soul.
I stand quietly in front of those images
as I kneel and acknowledge
they in me
I in them.